Foodie- quinoa salad

This is a pretty easy one and so yummy.

I make quinoa and mix with black beans and corn then throw on this orange Vinaigrette.

Orange because I'm lazy, I have them and did I mention I'm lazy???

Toss together and serve warm, or cold! Oh, this needs salt but it's SOOOOOOO good!!!

Playdates

Playdates are just so awesome. Seriously. Letting the kids wander and play and be kids while parents get some much needed adult time.

It also gives me time to look at my son with his peers. How he does with them. Does he play with them? Does he stay alone? Does he follow and try and engage?

My life, always on.

More of that "HURRY UP!!!! WAIT!!!" Crap.

I really doubt people who do this therapy bullshit for kids have had to navigate this shit.

Honestly.

Today's Therapy eval did not go well. I am not happy and I'm left feeling more alone and frustrated.

The first thing they did was tell me 'Since your son has high functioning Autism e qualifies for supplemental visits.. . .'

I stopped her right there and asked who said that. Who diagnosed him? She couldn't tell me. She implied that I told them that he has been diagnosed.

Since Theraplay doesn't diagnose, they only treat, they can not give him a diagnosis. Without a diagnosis my insurance will not pay for anything. It would be $100 out of pocket for every visit, if I purchase a block of 10 visits, it's only $850.

Wait, there's more.

They recommend that he has, to start, 12 weeks of biweekly visits, so 24 visits.

IF we get a diagnosis that contains ASD we would have our visits covered. Ok. Who gives that diagnosis? The Developmental Pediatrician who has a wait of 8-10 months. 

What else can I do?! "Oh, you might qualify for state insurance, we take Keystone Mercy, but they just closed open enrollment so you'd have to go on that waiting list too."

What about IU? "They don't diagnosis either, and they have a long wait."

Can I try another pediatrician? "CHOP is an 18 month wait just to get on the list to get an appointment." (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.)

Or, they told me, that I can go to a developmental pediatrician that doesn't take insurance and get the diagnosis from them or from a Pediatric Psychologist.

Well, itsn't that fucking lovely.

I want to give up, but I won't. More than likely I will flick them all off and go at this alone. 

Theraplay

Today is our second screening. I've been talking it up for 24 hours.

I'm quite apprehensive but keeping it to myself, gotta point that out lest someone mentions I'm projecting it onto him.

I don't care what he has, really. Just please, Universe, make this painless. 

Foodie- Oven Baked Fried Chicken

 Hubs makes some amazing fried chicken, but that is in the deep frier! I wanted to try to make something more healthy, like oven baking it.

Well, tonight I made this oven baked fried chicken and it was quite good!!!

I used three chicken breasts, corn starch, eggs, corn flakes, pink salt and EVOO.

That's it.

I sliced the chicken into strips, dipped them in corn starch, then beat eggs, then rolled them around in ground up corn flakes and I put them on a cookie sheet.

PRO TIP: You know those cooling racks you use to cool off cookies? PUT THAT ON THE COOKIE SHEET. That way the bottom of the chicken doesn't get mushy or wet! They cook evenly!!

 Doesn't that look awesome? 25 minutes at 450 degrees Fahrenheit!!

I also made sweet potato fries and cooked them at the same time! Everything in the oven at once!

Gotta love easy cooking!

Zoo Day

 Today was a Zoo day. We are lucky enough to have a zoo membership pass so we can go as often as we'd like. I prefer to go on days that are cooler than 90 degrees Fahrenheit, but we braved it anyway. When we first got there it was a little bit of a transitioning issue. First he wanted to see the 'nakes' and turtles and frogs but then was quickly over that.

I was stressed because we were there with friends and who really wants to hang out with a child who is constantly melting down and a mom who is trying to not cry because she doesn't want to loose yet another friend.

We sat and had some lunch and both the boys started flipping out because they didn't want to sit and eat, they wanted to run and yeah. We sat.

As soon as we were done eating the other kids wanted to go on the Train (our Zoo has a kids train) but my son didn't want anything to do with that.

Then we came to the Lorax kids area. The other kids were off and running and Liam hung back for a bit until he saw his friends having a really good time. This is why I often beg for kids to come out with us, so Liam has a transitioning partner. Someone to mentally hold his hand as he leaps off.

 And leap off he did.

Once upstairs he found a puddle to splash in and wheels to turn. Things to climb in and on and that was the turning point. He was out of his shell, no longer afraid, he wanted to GO.

 And go he did.

 Our zoo also just added a kids zoo called 'Kids U' (or kids university) and it's really awesome. In it they have rope ladders, slides, all kinds of things that let kids be kids. And he loves it.

 This is above me, I was sitting on the ground with the baby trying to convince him that having some boob was a grand idea. I failed.

TA DA!!! Down the slide!

 And inside Kids U there is a rat farm full of these lovely female rats that know how to go in the litterbox!!! He wants one. Truth be told, I kinda want one too.

All in all we had an amazing day! He had fun and really enjoyed himself!

Freak Out

I'm trying to not freak out right now. I called to 'verify benefits' with our insurance company and I was sent to a page that said this:

Aetna policies typically exclude coverage for services, treatment, education testing, or training related to learning disabilities or developmental delays.  When the policy has such an exclusion, occupational therapy is not covered when the primary or the only diagnosis for a member is mental retardation or a learning disability such as a perceptual handicap, brain damage not caused by accidental injury or illness, minimal brain dysfunction, dyslexia, or developmental delay. 


What the actual fuck!?  They acknowledge that they are learning disabilities, something that places a child at a disadvantage but they refuse to cover it?!

I'm just going to sit here for a moment, cry and then pull up my superhero panties and kick some red tape ass.

Foodie- Sweet Potato Oven Fries

I tried this recipe tonight and it's AWESOME and really quite simple.

Three sweet potatoes
pink sea salt
olive oil

That's it! Wash and cut up the sweet potatoes, leaving the skin on, in strips. You know, the french fry shape.

The recipe I saw had them in a bowl and tossed them in canola oil, but I don't use canola oil and I found the use of another bowl wasteful, so I just cut them up and put them on a cookie sheet and drizzled the oil over them.

Who wants to do another dish? Really.

After that I sprinkled with pink sea salt and put in the oven at 450 degrees for 25 minutes checking them at 20 minutes to make sure that they don't burn. If they are getting too dark, turn the temperature down to 350 and continue cooking.

Easy and oh, so good.

Foodie- chocolate chip, chocolate cake gf/df

So the first thing I learned how to make while going gf was a chocolate cake and thanks to betty Crocker its easy to make that gf/df.

I really live that the cake mix is made in a dedicated gf facility! For those just starting out on the gf journey this is an easy cake mix!

It calls for one stick of butter in the mix, but that is easy to switch to one 1/2 cup of coconut oil. If you like a hint of coconut flavor to your cake use unrefined coconut oil, but I use refined coconut oil in this cake.

I also added a 1/2 cup of chocolate chips (dairy free) to the mix and I cook at 350° for about 40 minutes.

It makes a nice moist light cake (i've found some gf cakes are very dense and when I've made this for other people they always ask me if this cake is really gluten free!)

Enjoy!

Meltdowns happen

They really do. Sometimes they are for normal reasons like tired, hungry, overstimulated, etc. And some times they happen for no known reason. I find its best if you know your childs triggers as then you can avoid critical mass.

Today at Target we did not see the trigger until it was too late and critical mass was reached on the bathroom floor at Target.

Yeah, gross.

He was fully in meltdown mode so I asked daddy to take him to the car to calm him down which caused him to flip out more. So, daddy took a screaming, kicking and swinging little out to the car at which point he smacked daddy's glasses off his face and almost kicked him in the balls.

Good times.

All while I was in Target looking at home organization.

I deal with the meltdowns all day every day, I enjoyed one off.

But the other side of me was upse that I wasn't there to comfort my son while he was having such a hard go of it. I wasn't there to offer boobah or hugs or kisses. I'm sure daddy offered most of them, but knowing my child needed help and I wasn't there made me sad.

Ugh. These things happen.

Trampoline

When the going gets tough, the tough get on the trampoline.

While it's not always the solution it really helps more often than not. Today has been a really rough day for him. Daddy is home which throws off our schedule and makes it very hard for him to get into a rhythm. I need to work harder on keeping our schedule when Daddy is home.

After nap time, which was cut short by phone calls verifying our appointments on Tuesday for another evaluation, we were having a hard time getting back into routine. After dinner we went outside and spent time on the trampoline.

He dressed himself and put on the superhero cape I made for him (and his guests for his second birthday party) and some trainers (I have a rule now that he can't go outside without underwear on) and I just happened to grab my camera.

 I got some amazing shots. Every one of them reminded me that even though my son is 'special' it doesn't define him. He's beautiful, happy, smart and full of life.

More of that "hurry up and wait" crap.

So we finally got our intake forms for the developmental pediatrician.

Guess what was post marked Thursday? Yup. The envelope.

Another thing that blew my damn mind? It states on the letter the wait is 8-10 MONTHS!

Silly me. I thought 4-6 months was bad.

1, 2, 3, 4!

Today has been a bad day.

I can't figure out why when daddy is home that our son has a hard time. Maybe it's not our normal routine. Maybe it's he's excited that daddy is home.

I don't know. I do know its frustrating. For all of us.

When he's upset he counts, loudly. It's as if he's trying to express himself or calm himself.

When he's having a hard time he also gets rough with baby brother. Yesterday when I ran to the store for noodles he pushed baby brother off the train table.

I'm hoping that therapy gives us all skills to deal with this.

Understanding

One of the things I'm learning about SPD is that some of the kids like to be naked.

I can only assume that it's because they have less sensory input going on with the clothing rubbing along their skin, it could also be a control issue, ie: "i don't have to have clothing on right now, so I won't!"

But, I will say, that my older son as soon as he walks in the door he's ripping off clothing and all one needs to do is follow the trail of fabric to find him, sometimes just like in this photo.

I've caught Hell often from people that don't think it's appropriate for children to be nude and it's caused me so much stress in the past. Begging and pleading with my son to please keep clothing on, feeling embarrassed when he did just what he needed to do.

Now, I am on the path to no longer caring. No longer being embarrassed when people make off hand comments about my children always being naked or asking if I don't own clothing for them.

They are children. Let them be children in the safety of their own homes.

Another thing SPD is teaching me. At the end of the day the only people who matter are those who love and understand me and my children.

Foodie- gf/df chocolate chip cookies

Our family went gluten free just over three years ago and just recently we went dairy free as well.

One thing that I dreaded was finding a butter replacer that I would enjoy as much as butter. After trying a few different things I bit the bullet and got Earth Balance vegan butter.

Gotta say, it makes the difference in cookies. Where as in cakes or muffins I will use refined coconut oil (refined so it doesn't have that hint of coconut flavor.)

So, for our gf/df chocolate chip cookies I will totally cheat and get the betty Crocker chocolate chip cookie mix and doctor it up to fit our tastes.

One box of gf betty Crocker chocolate chip cookie mix
One cup earth balance vegan butter
Three eggs
One cup golden flaxseed
One cup walnuts
Splash of vanilla

Mix it up and put on the cookie sheet for 10 minutes at 350°

Enjoy!

Patience

One thing this journey is teaching me is patience.

I remember when I was a young woman of 20 and I just did not want children. I knew that of myself. I was too selfish. To impatient.

As I've aged I've become more giving, more patient but even the patience I have is taxed with SPD.

For instance: today is food shopping day. We get the bulk of our food at Costco and we have to drive up (an hour one way) and get everything and come back down. Sometimes my son is really fine with it and other times he looses it.

One day it was thundering and lightning at Costco (but not at home) and he just freaked out. He asked to he carried so I strapped him on my back and put the baby on the front and off I went.

I know I need to be flexable. Not because I am spoiling my child, because I can be flexable. I am more adaptable than my child.

So, this morning he lost it when it was time to brush his hair and teeth. Those I don't negotiate on. Well, once he was finished and settled in the car I told my mother that this could be very bad today.

Sure enough, when we got to Costco my older son asked to be carried. I started to put on the Ergo Performance and my mom said "dont be silly, you can't wear two of them!" I told her I do wear two of them, often.

Then she shocked me. "i will wear him."

My mother had never worn one of my children before and the pride I had in my mother as she walked around Costco wearing her first grandson on her back made my heart swell with love.

This woman gave me the love, empathy and strength to help my son and she was still helping me today.

SPD sucks but not because of the reasons you would think. It sucks because culturally we need to reprogram ourselves to see and help with love not assume the worst of our children. It sucks because so many have judgement or assumptions of children and their needs.

But then it makes people do amazing things, like my mom did today, and makes it all worth it.

Foodie- gf/df banana nut muffins

So, when my older son was just a wee babe he had trouble gaining weight and we've found that he needs to be gluten free. So we have been on this gluten free journey for over three years now and have just recently, I'd say march of this year, went dairy free.

I resisted going dairy free because, well, that shit tastes good! I had given up cow dairy completely and struggled to hang onto goat cheese. Well, that ended up making us sick too, so off with its head.

I enjoy cooking and truth be told, I think I'm pretty good at it. So I will drop little foodie posts here and there.

So these are banana walnut muffins. Or as my older son likes to call them, cakes.

These were fairly easy to make.

Three very ripe bananas
Two eggs
Splash of vanilla
Splash of cinnamon
Splash of almond milk
Splash of coconut oil
1.5 cups of flour replacer (for this one I used maple grove farms gluten free flour replacer/all purpose baking mix.)

1/4 sugar

1/4 brown sugar
1 cup walnuts or your choice of goodie (chocolate chips are great in this too!)

I recomend getting an all purpose flour replacer when you're just starting out going gluten free as the work is done for you! No need to worry about xanthem gum or guar gum! Everything is done!

I spooned them into the cups and cooked for about 14 minutes at 350!

Now to see if they pass the boys taste test!

Ye olde boob tube

As many American parents, I rely on the television to get shit done around the house. My hand is up. I'm guilty. I use the tv as a babysitter.

I know this is wrong.

So, as I hurry up and wait for my sons therapy to start, for help to come, I am cracking down on not only myself but my son.

One of these things is the television. One day, I'm not proud to admit, the television was on ten hours. Was my son watching it that whole time? No, probably not. But that shit didn't help his sensory issues.

So, this week, I shut it off. He gets no more than two hours a day. That's it.

And you know what? He's better without it.

Today this morning he watched "the aristocats" and then....he played. He fussed a bit when I said it was off, all done until daddy got home, bit guess what?

He is happier without it.

We have had lunch and breakfast without incident. There have been no meltdowns. He's played with his train table, something he hasn't done in months!

And all while I cleaned or did laundry or nursed the baby.

I feel good. I feel really good. I have hope.

Fuck. Someone knock on wood that I didn't just jinx it. 

Faith

We all have faith in people. Faith that they will do their jobs. It's when we loose faith that it gets scary as fuck.

Let me explain.

July 10th I called a developmental pediatrician for evaluation. The lady on the phone told me that the normal lady who does intake forms (what we needed) had just had surgery for carpal tunel and they had no idea what was going on in the office.

Here's a few red flags.

First: the person on the phone disclosing private medical information to me is a huge HIPAA violation.

Second: if one person leaves the offixe and it falls to shit, that's not confidence buliding for me.

So, I was told I had to wait. So, I did. I called back today when the mail didn't miraculously show up. More faith shit.

Well, guess who I got on the phone? The carpal tunel lady. Yes, the one who had the surgery.

I may have disclosed that I knew about her surgery and how much they missed her. I may of disclosed how hopelessly lost they were without her.

Oops.

She told me that there isn't a four to six month wait, but their mail is horribly slow. More hurry up and wait for me.

Fort SPD

As I wait for a definitive diagnosis I am doing everything I possibly can to make my sons life easier.

Today I made a 'sensory hut' for him to hide into and chill out. It was pretty easy!!!

I took another play yard we had sitting around and I turned it on it's side and covered with a blanket. Then I put his twilight turtle inside with blankets, pillows and a sheepskin. It's really quite cool and if he likes it I will probably do some modifications on the playyard like cutting out one side as an entrance and putting a top on it so I can use the top for toy storage.

All in all I'm quite happy with it.

Testing Sucks

Two weeks ago we decided that we should get our oldest son tested for SPD.

Why we decided to go this route I will touch on in another blog post. I just want to talk about how infuriating testing is.

So, we first went to our Pediatrician to talk about his behavior and symptoms, red flags I had noticed and things that seemed off. After that she gave us the number to the Intermediate Education Unit, also known as IEU, for our state. She also gave me numbers for a developmental pediatrician as well as Theraplay.

I called all three on July 10th.

My first appointment was on July 22 for IEU to screen my son. A screening is when they talk and play with your child and look for specific skills and milestones to determine if your child needs an in depth evaluation.

Ten minutes into this 'screen' the evaluator had seen enough to flag my son. I asked him what he thinks we could be dealing with, making sure to focus on the fact that no one can know after 30 or 40 minutes in a room with a preschooler, and he agrees with my assessment that we are dealing with SPD, possibly OCD, developmental delays and behavioral issues.

Just a fucking shot in the gut, but we will get through it. Then, this is the part that gets me, he tells us we will be scheduled an evaluation in the next FOUR TO TWELVE WEEKS. That's three months!

So, not only is it constantly drilled into my head that early intervention is everything and weeks matter, but then you'll make me hurry up and wait?! Fuck you, dude!

Next week we have another evaluation at the Theraplay and hopefully they put us on a therapy schedule as soon as possible. I need help. I can't do this alone.

After the Theraplay appointment I have to wait for paperwork for the developmental pediatrician. I'm not happy with them thus far. I called them on (again) July 10thand I didn't hear back from them until July 15th. I was then told to look for a packet in the mail, fill that out and mail it back at which point they would put me on the waiting list.

How long is that waiting list you ask? Oh, I'll tell you! FOUR TO EIGHT MONTHS!

But by all means, hurry up and wait.

Hi, I'm New Here. . . .

We are in the process of having my oldest son diagnosed with Sensory Processing disorder. This is our story.