Patience

One thing this journey is teaching me is patience.

I remember when I was a young woman of 20 and I just did not want children. I knew that of myself. I was too selfish. To impatient.

As I've aged I've become more giving, more patient but even the patience I have is taxed with SPD.

For instance: today is food shopping day. We get the bulk of our food at Costco and we have to drive up (an hour one way) and get everything and come back down. Sometimes my son is really fine with it and other times he looses it.

One day it was thundering and lightning at Costco (but not at home) and he just freaked out. He asked to he carried so I strapped him on my back and put the baby on the front and off I went.

I know I need to be flexable. Not because I am spoiling my child, because I can be flexable. I am more adaptable than my child.

So, this morning he lost it when it was time to brush his hair and teeth. Those I don't negotiate on. Well, once he was finished and settled in the car I told my mother that this could be very bad today.

Sure enough, when we got to Costco my older son asked to be carried. I started to put on the Ergo Performance and my mom said "dont be silly, you can't wear two of them!" I told her I do wear two of them, often.

Then she shocked me. "i will wear him."

My mother had never worn one of my children before and the pride I had in my mother as she walked around Costco wearing her first grandson on her back made my heart swell with love.

This woman gave me the love, empathy and strength to help my son and she was still helping me today.

SPD sucks but not because of the reasons you would think. It sucks because culturally we need to reprogram ourselves to see and help with love not assume the worst of our children. It sucks because so many have judgement or assumptions of children and their needs.

But then it makes people do amazing things, like my mom did today, and makes it all worth it.